An Imperfect Parent and an Imperfect Kid

Today's TSS Journal starts with Jimmy's reflection about emotions

Jimmy recently had a major meltdown during playtime. While running around playing “Tag,” he accidentally hurt another girl and started yelling to prove he didn’t do it on purpose. What began as a small incident quickly spiralled into chaos. As his mother, teacher, and caregiver, I felt powerless, tired, and confused. My world turned grey for a moment.

I don’t recall ever being disciplined by a teacher when I was a child. I had been managing my own timetable, studies, and daily logistics from the moment I could wear a key around my neck and walk to school on my own — about Jimmy’s age. One thing I’ve always quietly been proud of is my ability to regulate my emotions. Sure, there were times I didn’t meet my own expectations. But I only cried quietly on the way home, never in front of my parents, teachers, or classmates. That became a way of life. Now as an adult and in the workplace, I’ve always appeared calm and in control. People often say, “Alice seems to know what she’s doing.”

That’s why I often feel helpless when parenting an emotional child like Jimmy, who wears his feelings on his sleeve and isn’t afraid to let the world know how he feels. Honestly, a part of me is envious of his courage. But I also find myself having to remind him that the world isn’t centred around just one person. He needs to be mindful of those around him, especially when expressing himself with such a loud voice!

Eventually, Jimmy apologised to the other children and wrote a reflection back home. It took me some time to climb out of my own emotional slump. I told him honestly that I needed to see how he behaves before I’d feel ready to fully take care of him again. It stirred up many emotions to show him that I’m not always strong. In his eyes, Mum is supposed to be the perfect superwoman. But strangely, admitting that I’m not perfect brought some relief. Neither of us is. And maybe that’s okay. Going through difficult moments like this deepens our understanding of each other. It builds empathy. It teaches us that it’s fine to be imperfect. After all, who ever said the world was designed to be perfect?

I wrote this TSS Journal entry to share my real parenting journey, not the filtered kind. Life isn’t always “instagrammable”. But it’s honest. And I’d love to hear from you — do you have a tip for managing your child’s emotions, or your own? Let’s learn from one another!